Monday, April 6, 2009

Being Safe? You'll Be Sorry!!

Why People Are Afraid To Take Risks & Leave Their Comfort Zones

When we consider actually moving toward our heart’s desire, a part of us automatically looks ahead to the possible consequences - especially the negative ones. Our “comfort zone” glooms onto these negative consequences. The comfort zone argues it’s the actions that will bring on the negative consequences.

The comfort zone’s emotionally backed recommendation: No Action

The comfort zone stays fairly quiet as long as we don’t seriously contemplate action. We can want our dream all we want; we can think about someday getting it as much as we like; we can tell everyone we know how we’re one day going to have it at every opportunity. We can even make commitments we don’t really plan to keep. The only thing we can’t do is DO IT!

If we begin to do it, the comfort zone goes into overdrive - hyperdrive, actually - and gets us back on track. “On track” to the comfort zone is what we’ve always done before, which means heading (again) toward B, even though our dream rests with A. Why are the consequences of action so uncomfortable? Let’s take a look:

1. When we choose, we must let other choices go. For example, if we have enough money for one popsicle, and we choose cherry, we must let go of grape, orange, tangerine, banana supreme, watermelon, and passion fruit. Naturally, we don’t want to let go of all of those other flavors that we love. All that loss! We’re miserable. We should have stayed at home. No, the storekeeper won’t let us have a bite of each. No, there’s no credit. We keep picking up and setting down one flavor after another, feeling rotten, until we get frostbite. When we make our big choice and go for the Big Dream, it means letting go of all the other Big Dreams, even though those dreams may be as appealing as grape, orange, tangerine, banana supreme, watermelon, and passion fruit. If we make no choice, we end up with nothing.

2. When we choose, we risk losing. If we boldly walk into the store and say, “I want a cherry popsicle,” we run the risk of the storekeeper saying, “We’re all out,” or, even worse, “We sold the last one five minutes ago. You just missed it.” (Why do people say things like that? Why do they add torture to torment? We don’t know why, but they do.)

If we commit to the one Big Dream, we might not get it. We might lose. And not only will we know, but everyone else will know, too. It’s the “agony of defeat.” Ugh! How horrible. When we never really choose - never really commit - if we don’t get it, we can always say, “Oh, I didn’t really want it anyway.”

3. When we choose, we risk winning. We stride in! We put down our money! We get the cherry Popsicle! We claim it! It is in our hand! It is ours! The store- keeper says, “Congratulations!” Now what?

It’s the big “Now-What?” that many people find more intimidating than “the agony of defeat.” Defeat is part of most people’s comfort zone. But winning? “What would I do? What would happen to me? How would I cope?” It’s called the fear of success. Not only do we have to make changes to become successful, but success itself brings additional changes. The greater the success, the greater the changes.

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