Why People Are Afraid To Take Risks & Leave Their Comfort Zones
When we consider actually moving toward our heart’s desire, a part of us automatically looks ahead to the possible consequences - especially the negative ones. Our “comfort zone” glooms onto these negative consequences. The comfort zone argues it’s the actions that will bring on the negative consequences.
The comfort zone’s emotionally backed recommendation: No Action
The comfort zone stays fairly quiet as long as we don’t seriously contemplate action. We can want our dream all we want; we can think about someday getting it as much as we like; we can tell everyone we know how we’re one day going to have it at every opportunity. We can even make commitments we don’t really plan to keep. The only thing we can’t do is DO IT!
If we begin to do it, the comfort zone goes into overdrive - hyperdrive, actually - and gets us back on track. “On track” to the comfort zone is what we’ve always done before, which means heading (again) toward B, even though our dream rests with A. Why are the consequences of action so uncomfortable? Let’s take a look:
1. When we choose, we must let other choices go. For example, if we have enough money for one popsicle, and we choose cherry, we must let go of grape, orange, tangerine, banana supreme, watermelon, and passion fruit. Naturally, we don’t want to let go of all of those other flavors that we love. All that loss! We’re miserable. We should have stayed at home. No, the storekeeper won’t let us have a bite of each. No, there’s no credit. We keep picking up and setting down one flavor after another, feeling rotten, until we get frostbite. When we make our big choice and go for the Big Dream, it means letting go of all the other Big Dreams, even though those dreams may be as appealing as grape, orange, tangerine, banana supreme, watermelon, and passion fruit. If we make no choice, we end up with nothing.
2. When we choose, we risk losing. If we boldly walk into the store and say, “I want a cherry popsicle,” we run the risk of the storekeeper saying, “We’re all out,” or, even worse, “We sold the last one five minutes ago. You just missed it.” (Why do people say things like that? Why do they add torture to torment? We don’t know why, but they do.)
If we commit to the one Big Dream, we might not get it. We might lose. And not only will we know, but everyone else will know, too. It’s the “agony of defeat.” Ugh! How horrible. When we never really choose - never really commit - if we don’t get it, we can always say, “Oh, I didn’t really want it anyway.”
3. When we choose, we risk winning. We stride in! We put down our money! We get the cherry Popsicle! We claim it! It is in our hand! It is ours! The store- keeper says, “Congratulations!” Now what?
It’s the big “Now-What?” that many people find more intimidating than “the agony of defeat.” Defeat is part of most people’s comfort zone. But winning? “What would I do? What would happen to me? How would I cope?” It’s called the fear of success. Not only do we have to make changes to become successful, but success itself brings additional changes. The greater the success, the greater the changes.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Are You Allowing Depression To Take Control Of You?
Feeling sad is very normal for human beings. You feel it when you break-up, lost a job or someone dies. After feeling down, you should soon recover from the sadness and move on with your life. Unfortunately not everyone can do this. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, people get sad for long periods of time. This is considered to be depression.
Depression is considered to be a psychological disorder that can be very harmful. Mild cases of depression would make a person cry for no reason and feel inconsolably sad. People, who have extreme depression, find themselves unable to function normally. They stay at home, do not sleep and even refuse to sleep. The worst depression is when you begin contemplating ending your life because you find no reason to be alive.
Some women, after giving birth, feel depressed because of the enormity of their new responsibility and the sudden changes in their lives. In this case, the condition is referred to as post-partum depression. Other people prone to depression are those who have lost someone suddenly, those who have very poor coping mechanism and those who actually find pleasure in feeling depressed.
If you have been feeling sad for no reasons at all, you should speak with a professional to determine whether or not you have an obsessive compulsive disorder. A psychiatrist would be qualified to diagnose you and even prescribe ant-depressant if you require one. Many depressed patients, unfortunately, become addicted to the medication and find it difficult to feel better without the prescription drug. Basically this can increase your risks of being drug-dependent.
Other less harmful treatment involves hypnotism. The relatively new hypnotherapy works by targeting your subconscious and embedding anti-depression ideas. Since the subconscious actually dictates about 90 percent of the brain’s activity, it is not surprising that hypnotherapy has become effective in treating psychoses like phobias and addiction. Depending on the level of depression, a person can feel its effects after one to five sessions. The treatment is safer, less expensive and less probing.
For people who are depressed, you should first admit that you have the disorder for the treatments to be effective. You should also make sure that your commitment does not waver. Life is too short and too beautiful to be sad all the time. By getting help, you are giving yourself a new lease in life. It will also free you permanently from depression’s bad effects.
Depression is considered to be a psychological disorder that can be very harmful. Mild cases of depression would make a person cry for no reason and feel inconsolably sad. People, who have extreme depression, find themselves unable to function normally. They stay at home, do not sleep and even refuse to sleep. The worst depression is when you begin contemplating ending your life because you find no reason to be alive.
Some women, after giving birth, feel depressed because of the enormity of their new responsibility and the sudden changes in their lives. In this case, the condition is referred to as post-partum depression. Other people prone to depression are those who have lost someone suddenly, those who have very poor coping mechanism and those who actually find pleasure in feeling depressed.
If you have been feeling sad for no reasons at all, you should speak with a professional to determine whether or not you have an obsessive compulsive disorder. A psychiatrist would be qualified to diagnose you and even prescribe ant-depressant if you require one. Many depressed patients, unfortunately, become addicted to the medication and find it difficult to feel better without the prescription drug. Basically this can increase your risks of being drug-dependent.
Other less harmful treatment involves hypnotism. The relatively new hypnotherapy works by targeting your subconscious and embedding anti-depression ideas. Since the subconscious actually dictates about 90 percent of the brain’s activity, it is not surprising that hypnotherapy has become effective in treating psychoses like phobias and addiction. Depending on the level of depression, a person can feel its effects after one to five sessions. The treatment is safer, less expensive and less probing.
For people who are depressed, you should first admit that you have the disorder for the treatments to be effective. You should also make sure that your commitment does not waver. Life is too short and too beautiful to be sad all the time. By getting help, you are giving yourself a new lease in life. It will also free you permanently from depression’s bad effects.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The High Cost of Doing Nothing
Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we are not simply discussing cost as it relates to selling price, but rather opportunity cost. The web site, "Mentors, Ventures and Plans" defines opportunity cost as "The loss of the next best alternative whenever a decision is made involving two or more options". "Investing in Options" defines it as "Choosing the best alternative means that you can't choose the next-best alternative. Opportunity cost is the next-best alternative that must be sacrificed in order to get something else you want. Opportunity cost can be thought of as the road not taken." Inactivity, or doing nothing, is usually the highest price paid and is often associated with great opportunity cost. Inaction is usually the worst decision one can make, made from a base of fear.
Many of us will freeze when facing decisions. For some reason, decision making becomes complex, paralyzing and even painful for many people. It should not be this way. Making a decision is simply the act of choosing between alternatives. You must learn to weigh the implications of each possible decision and choose the outcome that is best for you and all others involved. For example, when your telephone bill comes due, you may choose to pay it or not. There are real obvious consequences for both actions. The situation becomes more complex however, when our human emotions enter the picture. For instance; you are offered a new job and must decide to leave your current position and move your family to a new location, hundreds of miles away.
What we often fail to realize, is that delaying important decisions or simply not making a decision at all, are actions that often impact us with the highest opportunity costs and worst case scenarios. Inactivity, or the lack of a decision, is actually a decision made, although one seldom made in our best interests. In this case, we unfortunately transfer over control of our lives to external forces and circumstances. We are now positioned to be at the mercy and decision-making of others. This is not your best scenario. There are often unusually high costs associated with doing nothing.
Decision making is actually a skill set that can be learned and refined. Like all skills, entering into a new area as a novice requires practice and application in order to see improvement. Keep in mind that you will indeed improve! Start small, with less important decisions involving less than crucial outcomes and gradually make more decisions on matters of greater importance. Soon, you will have few if any issues with making decisions. Learn to start small and work your way up, gradually extending your comfort zone in this area. A by-product of learning these new skills is that your confidence will surely improve as well.
Decision making need not be frightening. Think of it as a process that is your own, shedding any external pressure that others may be applying. Take your time, get your facts and choose the outcome that works best for you. Do not allow yourself to fall victim to the high cost of doing nothing.
A Science Breakthrough That Could Change Your Life Forever
Ever think the world is out to make you fail? Do you think that “If you didn't have bad luck you wouldn't have any luck at all ? “
Wrong!
You make your own luck and your own failures and successes.
Are you one of the positive ones who think “Everything happens for a reason!” ?
Good for you! You are correct! Well, sort of...
Everything DOES happen for a reason, but not in the way many people think. Everything in your life happens because you made it happen.
Car break down ? Yeah, that was you!
Can't find the right partner? Yeah that was you too!
Your life. Your events. You made it happen.
How can this be ?
Its all because of the laws of the Universe! Time, space, quantum physics, vibrations and energy. Its all around you every moment of every day reading you and transforming your life.
Sound too “New Age” for you ? Its all real science and real life.
Your world is built on one main law. The law of attraction. The law of attraction means that energy attracts like energy, vibrations attract like vibrations. This means that what you feel is what you get out of life. Having a bad day and things just keep getting worse ? It makes perfect sense in context with the law of attraction.
So what happens when you use this law to your advantage? When you take all of your goals and dreams and treat them like they will happen, and you stay positive ? Well your dreams come true, and miracles happen. In the universe anything is possible, and you can make it happen if you know how.
Here are a few tips to to get start on on your way to become a master of manifestation.
Stay Positive. The Universe is always listening and you can sabotage yourself and your dreams by becoming self critical and negative. Pay attention to your “Inner Voice” and make corrections when needed.
Stay connected. Staying connected with your inner self is very important. You need to listen to your instincts when you are trying to fallow your life path you are dreaming of. You also need to be aware of what you really want in life instead of what you THINK you want in life. One way to achieve this is through meditation and self-discovery.
Stay Strong. Don't let anyone smash, steal, or put your dreams down. Not everyone will agree with or support your dreams, but don't let that get you down. They are your dreams alone, and are completely possible. Don't let anyone stand in your way of accomplishing your goals!
I would wish you the best of luck, but you have something better than luck when the Universe is on your side!
Maranda Mann
Wrong!
You make your own luck and your own failures and successes.
Are you one of the positive ones who think “Everything happens for a reason!” ?
Good for you! You are correct! Well, sort of...
Everything DOES happen for a reason, but not in the way many people think. Everything in your life happens because you made it happen.
Car break down ? Yeah, that was you!
Can't find the right partner? Yeah that was you too!
Your life. Your events. You made it happen.
How can this be ?
Its all because of the laws of the Universe! Time, space, quantum physics, vibrations and energy. Its all around you every moment of every day reading you and transforming your life.
Sound too “New Age” for you ? Its all real science and real life.
Your world is built on one main law. The law of attraction. The law of attraction means that energy attracts like energy, vibrations attract like vibrations. This means that what you feel is what you get out of life. Having a bad day and things just keep getting worse ? It makes perfect sense in context with the law of attraction.
So what happens when you use this law to your advantage? When you take all of your goals and dreams and treat them like they will happen, and you stay positive ? Well your dreams come true, and miracles happen. In the universe anything is possible, and you can make it happen if you know how.
Here are a few tips to to get start on on your way to become a master of manifestation.
Stay Positive. The Universe is always listening and you can sabotage yourself and your dreams by becoming self critical and negative. Pay attention to your “Inner Voice” and make corrections when needed.
Stay connected. Staying connected with your inner self is very important. You need to listen to your instincts when you are trying to fallow your life path you are dreaming of. You also need to be aware of what you really want in life instead of what you THINK you want in life. One way to achieve this is through meditation and self-discovery.
Stay Strong. Don't let anyone smash, steal, or put your dreams down. Not everyone will agree with or support your dreams, but don't let that get you down. They are your dreams alone, and are completely possible. Don't let anyone stand in your way of accomplishing your goals!
I would wish you the best of luck, but you have something better than luck when the Universe is on your side!
Maranda Mann
A Key To Success
Emulating successful people is one key to success. Be careful, though, if you ask them for advice. Often, people don't really know why they succeed, but they will give you as many explanations as you want anyhow. One night on the news, I saw a 100-year-old man explain that smoking a big cigar every day was one of the secrets of his longevity. It might be nice to know why he has lived so long, but I'm pretty sure we won't learn by asking him.
Key To Success - Study Successful People
One key, then, isn't in doing what successful people say, but rather doing what they do. This is how to learn success. Naturally you have to look closely and apply a little brainpower to see what they are really doing that is causing their success.
A successful real estate investor told me he didn't believe in setting goals. However, watching him and listening to him, I came to realize that he knew just where he expected to be with his projects in six months. This, of course, is goal-setting - he just called the process something else.
Never stop listening to what successful people have to say, but read between the lines. Listen for insight into how they think about things, how they approach their challenges. Suppose the advice of a successful basketball player is just to practice more, but he casually mentions "I saw that going in," after a great shot. Isn't it time to start visualizing your shots going in?
Key To Success - Model Successful People
You won't always know what is causing a person's success. Internet marketers promote their websites by exchanging links, but when I first tried to exchange links with other websites, the owners didn't respond to my emails. Then I found a simple email letter used by a successful internet marketer to get links. It sounded silly to me, and I wanted to change it, but I tried it anyhow. It worked repeatedly.
It is more important to do the right things than to understand why they are right. To also understand is great, but at first, it may be best to just copy many of the actions, attitudes and approaches of someone who is succeeding. Try to model success, even before you understand it.
As you learn more, you can drop those parts that aren't contributing, and add elements of your own. If you model a successful parent, for example, and life with your children gets better, does it matter if you know right away which changes were the most effective? Of course not.
Is it better to understand why what you are doing is working? Certainly, but you may not ever understand why some things work, and this is okay too. It is better to have success than to explain it, so find successful people and do what they do, not what they say. It is an important key to success.
Key To Success - Study Successful People
One key, then, isn't in doing what successful people say, but rather doing what they do. This is how to learn success. Naturally you have to look closely and apply a little brainpower to see what they are really doing that is causing their success.
A successful real estate investor told me he didn't believe in setting goals. However, watching him and listening to him, I came to realize that he knew just where he expected to be with his projects in six months. This, of course, is goal-setting - he just called the process something else.
Never stop listening to what successful people have to say, but read between the lines. Listen for insight into how they think about things, how they approach their challenges. Suppose the advice of a successful basketball player is just to practice more, but he casually mentions "I saw that going in," after a great shot. Isn't it time to start visualizing your shots going in?
Key To Success - Model Successful People
You won't always know what is causing a person's success. Internet marketers promote their websites by exchanging links, but when I first tried to exchange links with other websites, the owners didn't respond to my emails. Then I found a simple email letter used by a successful internet marketer to get links. It sounded silly to me, and I wanted to change it, but I tried it anyhow. It worked repeatedly.
It is more important to do the right things than to understand why they are right. To also understand is great, but at first, it may be best to just copy many of the actions, attitudes and approaches of someone who is succeeding. Try to model success, even before you understand it.
As you learn more, you can drop those parts that aren't contributing, and add elements of your own. If you model a successful parent, for example, and life with your children gets better, does it matter if you know right away which changes were the most effective? Of course not.
Is it better to understand why what you are doing is working? Certainly, but you may not ever understand why some things work, and this is okay too. It is better to have success than to explain it, so find successful people and do what they do, not what they say. It is an important key to success.
11 Great Reasons why Smiling makes us More Successful!
First: Our smile shows others people that we are friendly.
If a stranger approached you and gained eye contact with you and then treated you to a broad smile you will have a fairly good idea that they are being friendly and certainly mean you no harm.
By contrast we would find it far more difficult to offer trust to the stranger that wears a scowl or unfriendly face features.
Second: A smile can make people happy.
When someone treats you to a smile, even a stranger, you usually smile back. For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. As you walk through a crowed area such as a main street you can do this hundreds times in a very short period of time.
When you smile at someone who is not already smiling and they smile back you have brought a moment of happiness into their lives which, who knows, could last all day.
Third: Smiling is infectious.
When you spend a lot in the company of someone who smiles a lot you will soon discover that their smile starts to wear off on you. It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at a subliminal level without thinking.
Fourth: Smiling can make you popular.
Which type of people do you prefer? A person that has a tired and listless face. An expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of boredom and worry? Or, would you prefer someone who is always smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life.
I think for the majority of us the choice would be obvious!
Fifth: Smiling can help you to make new friends
In the same way few of us would choice a miserable person for a friend. Lets face it we all want someone who is going to be bubbly and a happy and positive.
Sixth: A smile is usually returned
When someone smiles back at you it make you feel good inside. You have just made a short but very positive communication and possibly the first step in the process of getting to know or making friends with someone new.
Seventh: Smiling makes you positive and happy inside.
When you smile it is hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad in anyway. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive, it is also habit forming.
Eight: A smile makes you look far more attractive.
You don’t see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling because if you did it is fairly certain that their popularity would quickly start to drop!
Ninth: Smiling also helps make you memorable to others!
Have you noticed that smiling people are usually far more memorable than those that are not? It is fact that you are 3 time more likely to remember the person that is smiling over the one that is wearing a negative or neutral features.
Tenth: Most importantly, smiling is good for your health!!!
When you are smiling you find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve most aspects of your life.
Eleventh: The effects of smiling can last for hours
Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them and hold. For a while you forget the problems and become positive, and while you are in a positive state you have far more potential and power to advance and improve your life.
Lastly: Smiling is FREE!
You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around. When you weigh up the positive points of smiling it is a no brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.
Keep smiling.
If a stranger approached you and gained eye contact with you and then treated you to a broad smile you will have a fairly good idea that they are being friendly and certainly mean you no harm.
By contrast we would find it far more difficult to offer trust to the stranger that wears a scowl or unfriendly face features.
Second: A smile can make people happy.
When someone treats you to a smile, even a stranger, you usually smile back. For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. As you walk through a crowed area such as a main street you can do this hundreds times in a very short period of time.
When you smile at someone who is not already smiling and they smile back you have brought a moment of happiness into their lives which, who knows, could last all day.
Third: Smiling is infectious.
When you spend a lot in the company of someone who smiles a lot you will soon discover that their smile starts to wear off on you. It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at a subliminal level without thinking.
Fourth: Smiling can make you popular.
Which type of people do you prefer? A person that has a tired and listless face. An expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of boredom and worry? Or, would you prefer someone who is always smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life.
I think for the majority of us the choice would be obvious!
Fifth: Smiling can help you to make new friends
In the same way few of us would choice a miserable person for a friend. Lets face it we all want someone who is going to be bubbly and a happy and positive.
Sixth: A smile is usually returned
When someone smiles back at you it make you feel good inside. You have just made a short but very positive communication and possibly the first step in the process of getting to know or making friends with someone new.
Seventh: Smiling makes you positive and happy inside.
When you smile it is hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad in anyway. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive, it is also habit forming.
Eight: A smile makes you look far more attractive.
You don’t see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling because if you did it is fairly certain that their popularity would quickly start to drop!
Ninth: Smiling also helps make you memorable to others!
Have you noticed that smiling people are usually far more memorable than those that are not? It is fact that you are 3 time more likely to remember the person that is smiling over the one that is wearing a negative or neutral features.
Tenth: Most importantly, smiling is good for your health!!!
When you are smiling you find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve most aspects of your life.
Eleventh: The effects of smiling can last for hours
Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them and hold. For a while you forget the problems and become positive, and while you are in a positive state you have far more potential and power to advance and improve your life.
Lastly: Smiling is FREE!
You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around. When you weigh up the positive points of smiling it is a no brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.
Keep smiling.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Find Out The Secrets And Myths About Leadership
"The winds and waves are always on the side of the best navigators." — Edward Gibbon, English Historian
Leaders look beyond the current situation – beyond what is to what could be. That's why leadership is all about change. It's why leadership is action, not a position.
Growing our leadership is also a dynamic process. It begins at the center of our being and develops in multiple directions, each represented by the timeless leadership principles described in The Leader's Digest. This "hub and spokes" model is the basis for The CLEMMER Group's Leadership Wheel.
Are you tired of being teased by the people around you that you're not a good leader? Have you ever tried to research about the good leadership?Well, everyone is not born to be a leader but has chance to be a good one. Good leadership is started from yourself. To be a leader is not a privilege but it is the right that we can enhance ourselves
My high school classmate is always a part of clubs and organizations in our school. She always received the leadership award during the end of our academic year. She has the potential in leadership. Why? Because she always think about her members wants and needs. She's strict but in a right time and place. She did what she had promise and most of all she is a God fearing woman. Our teacher asked her secrets why all her members follow to her but she said that " The best recipe is glorifying God and have a confident that you can handle an organization. Be honest and do what you have promise."
Leaders also take initiative and do what needs to be done rather than waiting for "them" to do something (Chapter 3: Responsibility for Choices).
Leaders are authentic and lead by visible example, fostering openness and continuous feedback (Chapter 4: Authenticity). Leaders are passionate and build strong commitment through involvement and ownership (Chapter 5: Passion and Commitment).
Leaders lead with heart and rouse team or organizational spirit (Chapter 6: Spirit and Meaning).
Leaders grow people through strong coaching and continuous development (Chapter 7: Growing and Developing).
Finally, leaders energize people by building strong teams, inspiring, and serving (Chapter 8: Mobilizing and Energizing).
The wheel model provides a metaphor for situations faced by an organization. For example, just as a wheel's weight-bearing ability depends upon the strength of its hub, so too does the strength of an organization's hub (or core values) determine the weight of the performance and change issues that it is able to carry.
Leaders look beyond the current situation – beyond what is to what could be. That's why leadership is all about change. It's why leadership is action, not a position.
Growing our leadership is also a dynamic process. It begins at the center of our being and develops in multiple directions, each represented by the timeless leadership principles described in The Leader's Digest. This "hub and spokes" model is the basis for The CLEMMER Group's Leadership Wheel.
Are you tired of being teased by the people around you that you're not a good leader? Have you ever tried to research about the good leadership?Well, everyone is not born to be a leader but has chance to be a good one. Good leadership is started from yourself. To be a leader is not a privilege but it is the right that we can enhance ourselves
My high school classmate is always a part of clubs and organizations in our school. She always received the leadership award during the end of our academic year. She has the potential in leadership. Why? Because she always think about her members wants and needs. She's strict but in a right time and place. She did what she had promise and most of all she is a God fearing woman. Our teacher asked her secrets why all her members follow to her but she said that " The best recipe is glorifying God and have a confident that you can handle an organization. Be honest and do what you have promise."
Leaders also take initiative and do what needs to be done rather than waiting for "them" to do something (Chapter 3: Responsibility for Choices).
Leaders are authentic and lead by visible example, fostering openness and continuous feedback (Chapter 4: Authenticity). Leaders are passionate and build strong commitment through involvement and ownership (Chapter 5: Passion and Commitment).
Leaders lead with heart and rouse team or organizational spirit (Chapter 6: Spirit and Meaning).
Leaders grow people through strong coaching and continuous development (Chapter 7: Growing and Developing).
Finally, leaders energize people by building strong teams, inspiring, and serving (Chapter 8: Mobilizing and Energizing).
The wheel model provides a metaphor for situations faced by an organization. For example, just as a wheel's weight-bearing ability depends upon the strength of its hub, so too does the strength of an organization's hub (or core values) determine the weight of the performance and change issues that it is able to carry.
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